


Forever Young : The Miimu Raidaa and the Master and the Southern Charm™

by Yngvildr the Voracious (Yngvildr_the_Voracious)



Series: McHanzo Week 2016 [5]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Crack Fic, Day 5, Fluff, M/M, McHanzo Week 2016, Memes, Smut, and being overall cute, fake first dates, fantasies, forever young, mchanzo goofing around, roleplaying, technically drunken sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-11 00:13:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8944930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yngvildr_the_Voracious/pseuds/Yngvildr%20the%20Voracious
Summary: Young Jesse McCree, the Blackwatch hotshot, is sent on a reconnaissance mission to Japan on the trail of the Shimada Clan. Young Hanzo Shimada, the Meme Rider, high authority on memes, drunk in a ramen restaurant, will have none of this shit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a crack fic under the influence of several discussions with the nsfw crowd and fond memories of goofin' around myself... Until I thought of something even more funny and then it became extremely cute.

He first heard of him in the lobby of his hotel as he was checking in.

 

 _Miimu Raidaa_.

 

It sounded like a supervillain name, somehow, he snorted as he adjusted his hat on his head.

 

It was a simple recon mission. Overwatch couldn’t move in an area where they needed to intervene fast, so they sent a Blackwatch team to scout out the terrain and give them enough intel and proofs of wrongdoing to act. Jesse McCree was the man for it.

 

Many thought he was ridiculous, not at all cut for the job. However, they didn’t take into account Jesse’s best advantage: his Southern Charm™.

 

He was supposed to pay attention to anything related to the Shimada clan. However, the only thing he managed to hear about is _Miimu Raidaa_. Be it the love hotel he thought he would have the best chance to catch a lead or the small port where he strolled, hoping to catch a glimpse of brooding tattooed individuals.

 

Growing more and more curious, Jesse McCree couldn’t help but think this was what he was supposed to do. _Miimu Raida_? Who was he? _Miimu Raidaa_ seemed to be a urban legend, only whispered about, traveling from ear to ear, translated in English and then back in Japanese and into English until the tales grew so outlandish even Jesse McCree, who liked to think his Southern Charm™ had helped him live quite the few adventures, thought them to be ridiculous.

 

Coming from a man who spent his undercover missions in Japan dressed as an American Cowboy©, this was quite rich!  

 

Unable to help himself, Jesse McCree followed the trail of the _Miimu_ _Raidaa_. Was he a person? Was he a woman or even agender? How did they become the talk of the town? Jesse McCree had to know.

 

The trail ended in a restaurant called Rikimaru. It was filled with patron and the scent of the delicious cooking wafted in the air, titillating Jesse’s nose. In the back of the room, atrocious karaoke was sung as McCree ordered himself, in equally atrocious Japanese, a bowl of beef flavoured udon noodles.

 

The karaoke eventually stopped in the middle of his meal.

 

“You!” he heard someone exclaim.

 

A man was pointing at him and the patrons, looking scared or excited, McCree didn’t quite know, were scurrying away from the restaurant.

 

The man of average height had his hair pulled in a low ponytail and the prettiest eyes Jesse McCree had ever seen in his life.

 

“Well, aren’t you a looker.” McCree said, oblivious of his impending doom.

 

“I chose you, Cowman!” the man explained, pointing at McCree with his finger.

 

“Me? I’m touched.” McCree answered. “Wait, what…” he started when the man grabbed his arm and forcibly dragged him out of this fine noodle serving establishment.

 

The man’s grip did not hurt, but McCree was a busy man with a mission… Well, two missions if you counted the recon, but this could definitely wait, he thought as he glaced down the man's back.

 

“Where exactly are we going?” he asked. “Cause I usually ask for names and maybe a nice cup of coffee before I follow handsome fellas around…”

 

“One does not simply talk about the _Miimu Raidaa_.” the man spat back in a low growl which made Jesse McCree’s jaw fall to the floor from the sheer seducing power of it.

 

“Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!” he guffawed, as it was his turn to to speak.

 

“What?!” the man asked, abruptly stopping in his tracks.

 

McCree simply offered him a roguish smile and a tip of his hat.

 

“Have I finally met the final boss? Will I finally become a master after riding you?” the man mumbled, seemingly lost in though.

 

The way he said riding made McCree's trigger finger feel mighty twitchy in his pants.

 

“Well, I don’t know about no final boss, but one thing’s for sure… If you wanna save a horse, the best way’s still to ride a cowboy.” he answered, pointing his index finger toward the man in a fingergun. “Draw!” he crooned.

  
The man lit up under the moonlight. Awoo.

 

“You may call me Shimada Hanzo, now holder of the honourable title of _Miimu Raidaa_.” he said. “You are the final boss. You must have a name and a title.”

 

“Sure I do, darlin.” McCree assured him. “I am Jesse McCree, Master of the Southern Charm™, Holder of Peacekeeper, Best Marksman in the Whole of New Mexico and also… Tu Latin Lover Extraordinaire, beautiful…” he added, stressing his mama’s hispanic accent, the one he reserved to those beautiful men who caught his eye. Ahhh… His mama had taught him everything he knew about enticing boys… And Reyes about seducing men, he thought with a slight tinge of nostalgia.

 

Hanzo Shimada looked at McCree from head to toe, seeming to take all of McCree’s in with one long lasting look.

 

“It will do.” the man shrugged before turning around, his nose up in the air.

 

McCree, feeling as lost as last year’s Easter Egg, could only follow the Japanese man, eyes fixated on the silver sash holding his hair together.

 

*

**

*

 

“ _Anata no tamenara doko made mo…_ ” Shimada sung in front of a door.

 

McCree was certain of one thing. He had been the one monopolising the karaoke tonight.

 

The sound activated a mechanism which unlocked a box where the Japanese man retrieved the key needed to access the place.

 

The room looked like any kind of bachelor pad he knew, with additional Japanese stuff such as indoors slippers, bathroom slippers and a calendar featuring cute anime girls in swimsuits.

 

“Welcome to the _Miimu Arena_ !” Hanzo said, presenting the place. “Please remove your shoes and take the black slippers.” he added, his eyes and glorious eyebrows saying _or else_ for him.

 

McCree felt a little lost as he switched his boots for the soft slippers, sitting next to Hanzo doing the same as well.

 

Never had he met such a strange man. Such a beautiful one at that.

 

“So… Meemoo Ridah?“ McCree started. “Unless you want me to call ya Hanzo?”

 

“Hanzo will suffice.” the man acknowledged as he reached for a cabinet and retrieved a bottle of sake and two glasses. “I need more to drink.”

 

There was a sudden moment where reality seemed to dawn on Hanzo. He turned to Jesse and suddenly, he looked extremely fragile, as if the mask of the Miimu Raidaa, cracked and cragged, was slipping down. At this moment, he looked frail, his eyes betraying the soul of a man who had seen and lived too much, his heart filled with grey clumps of self consciousness no longer hidden by a curtain of bravado and memes.

 

To try to make him more at ease, Jesse smiles softly before he stuck out his chest and swaggers up to Hanzo, reducing the distance between the two men and tipping his hat in a charming gesture. The signature move and the power of fantasy makes the strength of youth flood back into Hanzo’s cheeks, slowly announcing the return of the stately Miimu Raidaa.

 

“I myself wouldn’t say no to a drink or two. I have a mighty thirst as well, sweet pea.” Jesse McCree the Blackwatch Hotshot said, the moment left behind for now.

 

“I have the nectar of the gods!” Hanzo exclaimed, grabbing a bottle and two shot glasses.

 

The confidence was trickling back into him as he poured the transparent liquid into the glasses. Raising his in a toast, McCree was about to say something sultry and poetic using his Southern Charm™ when Hanzo interrupted him:

 

“SAKE!” he yelled before downing the glass and pouring himself another.

 

“Howdy.” McCree could only answer, the corners of his lips turning up as he tried to keep his Southern Charm ™ going.

 

Each shot was accompanied with the yell. _SAKE! SAKE!_ McCree couldn't help but follow up in between his own drinks. _Howdy. Howdy._

 

He was on the verge of tears from laughter. Hanzo’s red cheeks were so endearing right now and the alcohol in the Cowboy© was also making his wiener tingle.

 

Seemed all of this was having an effect on Hanzo too with the way his hands had suddenly moved from the bottles to McCree’s chest.

 

For a second, it was Jesse’s turn to get self conscious, but alcohol and the wonderful beauty above him made him melt with a single whisper. 

 

“Jesse McCree… You will know why I am called _Miimu Raidaa_.” he growled low in his ear, his voice smooth as butter.

 

“Well, y’all know the sayin, sugar.” he smirked.

 

Hanzo’s hands briefly stopped touching McCree to clap. The unmistakable chords of Big and Rich started to play. McCree’s surprise was absolute as he exclaimed:

 

“That’s what it means! Meemoo Ridah actually means… Meme Rider!” he said, barely concealing his mirth and enjoying the peals of laughter coming from Hanzo which soon turned into ominous cackling.

 

“Yes! And now, the rider will do his good deed and bless the Cowboy© with his booty!” Hanzo reaffirmed, fetching the coloured bottle of lubricant adorned with a yellow post-it note over the name of the brand. It said _Love Facilitator For The Graciously Endowed_.

 

The giggles it elicited were short lived as McCree kissed Hanzo’s mouth and they finally started to undress, to their great delight.

 

McCree’s heart was hammering in his chest hard, as hard as his Member®.

 

“Oh, I’ve had a hankering for this somethin fierce, sugar!” he breathed into Hanzo’s mouth.

 

“Shut up and help me lube me all up.” the answer came in a harsh needy whisper.

 

The slicked finger found a hole which was indeed used to such rides, easily spread apart and toyed with. McCree enjoyed the Meme Rider’s moans as he thrusted his fingers up his ass.

 

“Let… Let me…” Hanzo growled.

 

They shifted so Hanzo was splayed over McCree’s lap in a perfect position for a Succ™ while still giving McCree access to his displayed and glorious butt.

 

“Saddle my horse and ride into the city.” he moaned as the wet heat of Hanzo's tongue around his shaft. “I love your filthy mouth, Meme Rider.”

 

Hanzo choked on McCree and stopped his head, laughing, trying to catch his breath.

 

“Miimu Raidaa is ready to be unleashed!” Hanzo managed to say with difficulty. Even McCree was guffawing from how deep they were going into it. (He remembered the last time he had so much fun saying stupid shit was when they played Cards Against Humanity at Ana's second funeral).

 

“Well, that sure dills my pickle.” McCree acknowledged, coming back to the present. Or was it the past? "Let the Meme Rider devour me whole!"

 

Hanzo sinking on his dick would never get old. The music changed to something Korean McCree didn’t know. Hanzo kept on the Cowboy© theme by miming his handling of reins and the lassoing of an imaginary beast. McCree’s heart was thumping in his chest and he was smiling like a fool as he sat back on the couch and admired the beautiful man riding his length and singing along with the ridiculous songs playing in his sound system.

 

The pleasure building in his belly from the crazy ride given from an excellent and experienced Rider brought him close. A very close call that made his whole body shake and his balls are tremble as he growled.

 

“Tired, Latin Lover Extraordinaire?” Hanzo smirked, his pants still amazingly even.

 

“Not… A… Chance... _Meemoo Ridah_!” McCree growled, managing to not spill then and there under Hanzo’s sinful hips rocking. 

 

Hanzo smiled and suddenly, raised his arms.

 

“Time for the _SHOUSUTOPPA_!” he hollered, tucking his head into the crook of his elbow while maintaining his other hand raised high to the sky and possibly beyond, McCree thought for a second, his brains spacing out onder the delicious assault.

 

Suddenly, for McCree it was High Noon. He and a now dabbing Hanzo rutted against each other to the sweet sound of Cotton-Eyed Joe.

 

Hanzo’s laugh at McCree’s climax was rejuvenating.

 

The Japanese man was still rock hard when he looked down on McCree with a smile that could as well as been made of stars, Jesse thought. 

 

“And you Meme Rider…” Jesse McCree managed to ask despite his drowsiness. “Don’t you deserve a lil’ something?”

 

The smile turned fond before those delicious lips crashed on Jesse’s again. The rush of energy coming from it prompting him to take the other man’s in hand, softly caressing him as their kissed deepened, the charade gliding over their skins to give way to the genuine love and care they felt for each other for years.

 

As Hanzo came in turn he screamed his name, his voice gravelly. Sated, they stayed a while in this embrace, basking in the warmth of each other. Until Hanzo suddenly started to laugh again.

 

“What?” Jesse asks.

 

Hanzo managed to reign in his laughter long enough to sing again :

 

“ _PON PON dashite shimaeba ii no! Zenzen shinai no tsumaranai deshou!_ ”

 

“Good Lord! Stop this!” Jesse choked through his own guffawing. 

 

Hanzo’s forehead came to rest on his again, his chest wracked with his hysterical laughter, his eyes wet with tears brought by the merriment. Jesse tucked a stray white lock back behind his ear.

 

“It felt good…” Hanzo whispered against Jesse’s white beard. “Even if it was…”

  
“Shh, baby is ok.” Jesse hushed the man with a finger to his lips. “We’ll always be young in our hearts.”

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus : The cat had been sleeping next to them as they bumped uglies. When they were done, the cat settled around McCree's shoulders and started to purr loudly. Jesse's outraged. Hanzo hums the Nyancat.


End file.
